Now I find myself in this grimy cell/thinking 'bout my girl and the child I left/on the outs, nights spent fightin' self doubt/decisions I made hanging with the night owls/slight child, never knew love was forced to fight foul/till the foulness spread and tore my whole life down/sights and sounds that my memory plays/just a haze from them angel dust and Benadryl days/now its ten Amens a day, praying the self hate way/hard to face myself when I read what her letter says/ Son's doin' bad, won't acknowledge his dad/save him from the streets, God . Don't let him follow dad/I don't want much, just some hope now and again/lost everyone I loved, but in you I've found a friend/ shared my sins and my joys, and you made me self aware/ I don't want much, just tell me that you care.
Drifting in the space above/
Listless on a sea of numb/
I force myself to dive/
Hoping I'll somehow feel alive/
And each time you're there to pull me up/
Sometimes I cut myself to see if I still feel/Emotional wreck, my intellect is a shield/ mom is a junkie, pops--never knew him/brother was a truant, death stopped what he was doin'/grandmama raised me, said be a good student/I took to them books, got into a magnet school/class President, magna cum laude too/only downside to access, I couldn't match their cool/smart black girl, no one's attracted to/graduated deans list, college scholarship set/came home once, for grandmama's death/ took my scholarship money, buried her myself/I kept kept one, grad school was next/ got married, got a job, held back a thousand tears/till a voice on the street asked for change to spare/"It's your mama baby girl, just tell me that you care"
Lifted in the space above/
Misled that I could do enough/
Force myself to dive/
Knowing I don't belong this high/
And each time I fall I can feel your touch/
Each time I fall I can feel your touch/